Acclimate

Inside of a packed bar, elbow to elbow with the house band playing volume turned up to eleven few things can be understood. Your best friend half drunk controlling his wife from belting out the lyrics to “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion leans over spitting a bit in your ear to say “She’s Here”.

No longer does belting of a Canadian pop icon echo. No more does the shuffling and stiff elbows to the side cause pain. The smell of over priced IPAs drenching your arms is gone. The soft hum and long tunnel slide into view. Her friends give you the look yet she doesn’t turn a cheek. Downing your drink you try to pretend it’s nothing. Go back to giving in to Celine Dion working her sweet vocal ivories.

As if on a sugar rush you feel your heart beating in your finger tips. Neurons firing at record pace. Sitting there afraid of being seen. That maybe it’s nothing and you could talk and it would be fine? Either way, slamming that drink might look cool but now you’ve got to take a leak.

Walking to the bathroom straightening up your shirt walking confidently really feeling yourself and deciding ya know what? I’m a bad ass anyone would be lucky to… There she is walking right towards you. Do you look at her? Do you interrupt the conversation with someone who looks better, dances better, has a better beard and probably can do a kickflip?
No.
You trip on your own foot and stumble into the bathroom.

You can hear the roaring cackle and her coven of friends cackle at you as random people in the bathroom ask if you’re okay. You’ve driven hours to help fix a flat. You’ve gone golfing with her dad. None of that matters now. You’re the idiot who just tripped over his own feet.

Regardless of how dumb you feel. That doesn’t make the experiences you once shared less valid.
She may laugh at you, but she loves herself more than before you. She’s still wearing the necklace you gave her to remind her that she’s never alone.

Even if the big hooks don’t sink in, the smallest ripple can cause a tsunami.

Told myself that you were right for me.
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember. Gotye – Somebody That I used to Know